


Aruite Ikou ~I Will Walk~

by zeon_avalanthe



Category: Hey! Say! JUMP
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-08-16
Updated: 2012-08-27
Packaged: 2018-10-15 08:23:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 7,259
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10553162
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zeon_avalanthe/pseuds/zeon_avalanthe
Summary: Two boys, crossed paths in the name of fate, only to be separated once again by sheer greed.. As times past, a realization came.. But as they wanted to return, does fate still in their favour ?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Imported from my LJ account. Unbeta-ed.
> 
> Inspired by a song from Ikimonogakari with the same title "Aruite Ikou"

Leaning onto the cold wall, the boy crumpled down onto the ground slowly. He let the music which had been his company for the past few hours keep on blasting, filled the sound-proof room with the all too familiar melody.  
  
Sighing, the boy lifted a hand and placed it in front of his eyes, blocking all lights to invade them. It's yet another tiring day and he still has a lot to learn. Who would ever thought that being an idol would take this much that he felt like quitting. And to remember that he had sacrificed a lot of things too just to be who he is right now.  
  
Shaking his head to clear away disturbing thoughts, the boy slapped his own cheeks before taking a deep breath and stood to his feet once again.  
  
"You've lost too many Nakajima Yuto. You can't just give up now."  
  
***  
  
 _"Ah, Yama-chan !" Yuto called out the only occupant of the room who turned his gaze at him and smiled. "I'm really sorry ! The store was unexpectedly busy today and Boss begged us to stay longer."  
  
The smaller boy smiled while shaking his head softly. "It's okay, Yuto-kun. I'm just glad that you come."  
  
A blush formed into Yuto's cheeks as he saw that angelic smile which never failed to make him fall over and over again from the other boy.  
  
"Come on. I'll take you home."  
  
Ryosuke nodded as he took the offered hand and follow the other boy out of the facility. The two of them walked together hand-in-hand, all the while talking and giggling about nonsense.  
  
"How about having a sleepover at my place, Yuto-kun ? It's night already."  
  
Yuto frowned, contemplating the offer. But as he saw that pout forming on the boy's lips, he knew he'll give in.  
  
"Fine. I practically live here anyway."_  
  
***  
  
 _Yuto smiled at seeing his boyfriend all excited and giddy today. Ryosuke took him to a lot of places before the two of them settled down inside a fast food restaurant to rest their feet.  
  
"Yuto-kun, Yuto-kun."  
  
"Hmm ?"  
  
"Here."  
  
Yuto reached out and grab the small box from the boy's hand. Frowning, he opened the package to find a silver necklace with silver star pendant glowing.  
  
"What is it for ?"  
  
Ryosuke grinned. "It's a charm. So that you'll be save wherever you are."  
  
Chuckling, Yuto then proceeded to take the necklace and put it around his own neck. "I love it. Thank you."  
  
And Ryosuke just grinned wider._  
  
***  
  
 _"You."  
  
Yuto raised his brows at the call. Looking around, he realized that there's no one else around. Raising a finger, he pointed it to himself as if asking was it him that was being called. And as the man nodded, he walked closer toward him.  
  
"Is there anything you need, Sir ?"  
  
The man put his thumb and point finger under his chin as his face sharpened. "You're unexpectedly good-looking if I look carefully."  
  
"Eh ?" Yuto asked, feeling dumbfounded by the statement.  
  
"What about it, boy. I'll have you go to this upcoming drama audition. And if everything turned out well, you'll be famous in no time." The man smiled wickedly as he leaned back on his chair.  
  
"I'm sorry but I don't quite understand of what you're trying to say." Yuto frowned confusedly.  
  
"Tsk." The man leaned forward. "I'll make you an idol, boy."  
  
"EH ?!"_  
  
***  
  
 _"Isn't it great ? It'd been always your dream to be famous, right ?"  
  
Yuto smiled weakly before sipping into his drink.  
  
"But, there's one problem."  
  
"What is that ?" The boy in front of him asked curiously.  
  
Yuto sighed. "I need to leave everything behind and start anew in Tokyo."  
  
The other boy stopped his gesture in spooning his food and stared at his bestfriend closely. "Then, what about Yamada ?"  
  
Yuto closed his eyes before standing up. "I-I don't know. I'm conflicted. This might be my only chance, but, I can't-I can't leave Yama-chan."  
  
Yuto felt a hand on his shoulder and turned to watch his friend already stood by his side.  
  
"No worries. I'll take care of Yamada while you're away. Maybe, I'll have him fall in love to me as well~"  
  
Yuto immediately whacked the other boy's head hard at the comment.  
  
"Don't you dare, Takaki Yuya."_  
  
***  
  
Visiting the small coffee shop he frequented, he hurriedly order his usual breakfast menu. The waiter from behind the counter just grinned playfully at him.  
  
"In a hurry again, Nakajima-kun ?"  
  
"Don't Nakajima-kun me Ryutaro ! Hurry and bring me my order ! I'm almost late for practice !" He hissed impatiently.  
  
Ryutaro just shook his head in disbelief before handing him his order.  
  
"Thanks. Keep the change."  
  
Yuto took the bag and handed over some cash before leaving in a hurry. But before he could leave completely, he still caught Ryutaro's last sentence.  
  
"You, of all people should have understood already the risks of being an idol, Yuto."  
  
***  
  
 _"Yama-chan ?"  
  
The two teens who were in the middle of an afternoon stroll turned at the source of the voice to find another boy their age stood just a few metres away.  
  
"Keito ?"  
  
Yuto then turned toward his boyfriend and frown to see a wide smile forming on his lips.  
  
"It'd been so long !" Ryosuke almost skipped as the two boys walked closer to each other. "How have you been ?"  
  
"I'm good, I'm good. How about you ?" The boy called Keito asked back.  
  
"Well, same old me."  
  
Yuto cleared his throat as the familiarity of the two boys began disturbing his virtue. "Yama-chan, who is this ?"  
  
Ryosuke nodded as he introduced the two boys. "Ah, Yuto-kun, this is Okamoto Keito, my childhood friend. We were classmates until our second year of high school because Keito's family had to move to England for a business. And Keito, this is my boyfriend, Nakajima Yuto."  
  
"Ah, nice to meet you, Nakajima-kun. Okamoto Keito desu." The other boy bowed.  
  
Yuto bowed down as well. "Nakajima desu."  
  
"Did you get back permanently ? Or is it only temporarily ?"  
  
"I'm back permanently. As expected, I could only be at ease when I'm at my hometown." Keito crossed his hands in front of his chest. "Anyway, do you still lived at your old house ?"  
  
Ryosuke nodded. "Yeah. Since my parents died last year, I was left alone in the house. My older sister already have her own family in Tokyo. She still came visit sometimes though."  
  
"Eh ? Your parents had passed away ? I never knew." Keito said guiltily.  
  
"Yeah. They got into accident and died. I was so depressed back then that I had to do some therapy. But luckily, Yuto-kun was there so I could manage."  
  
Yuto frowned as the conversation went on. Ryosuke had talked about that incident lightly, as if it was nothing big. But Yuto knew, that deep inside, the boy was suffering. He was there to saw Ryosuke broke. He was there to saw Ryosuke cried everynights since his parent's death for months. He was there when Ryosuke fell into the depth of his despair and tried to kill himself. He was there to yelled at the boy of how stupid he was to do something like that. And he was there to made a vow to always love the boy and make him happy.  
  
"Yama-chan." He called out finally, a warning tone in his voice.  
  
Looking into his boyfriend's eyes, Yuto knew that he had sent his message clearly as the boy smiled and nodded.  
  
"Let's talk more later, Keito. I have to go already now."  
  
The other boy nodded before waving his hand at the retreating figures._  
  
***  
  
 _Yuto woke with a start at the sound of restrained sobs inside the room. Frowning, he searched for the source of the sound, and was not so surprised to find it coming from his boyfriend's figure who huddled under the blanket, seemingly shivering even with the warmth._  
  
"Yama-chan ?" He called out worriedly while lifting the cover from around the boy. "Hey, what's wrong ?"  
  
Slowly, the boy turned to face Yuto with eyes full of fear before he buried himself into Yuto's chest.  
  
"S-sorry. It's j-just, the n-nightmares. They-they're back." Stuttered Ryosuke from Yuto's chest.  
  
Rubbing his shaking boyfriend's back, Yuto whispered some comforting words to the boy's ear, once in a while kissing his hair softly.  
  
"It's okay, it's okay. I'm here."  
  
After a while, Yuto felt the shaking from the figure beside him had subdued as the boy pulled away slightly to wipe his wet face.  
  
"Feeling better ?"  
  
Ryosuke nodded while offering him a weak smile.  
  
"Yeah. Thanks. Sorry to worry you." Ryosuke rasped out. "It's just, I think the previous conversation kinda brought back some old memories."  
  
Yuto smiled before pulling the boy back to his embrace.  
  
"It's alright now, you don't have to be afraid anymore."  
  
The two of them fell into a comforting silence for a while, that Yuto even thought that the older boy had fallen back to sleep. Smiling contendedly, Yuto placed one last kiss on top of the boy's head, before he readied himself to sleep. Only to snapped back at the sound coming from his lover.  
  
"Ne, Yuto-kun, you won't ever leave me, will you ?"  
  
Feeling an uncomfortable knot in his chest tightening, Yuto choose to say nothing as he hugged the boy tighter.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Imported from my LJ account. Unbeta-ed.

Walking down the starry road, Yuto's gaze eventually fell onto the tall and big yet lonesome sakura tree stood by itself in the middle of the park across him. Seeing the leaves which began to fall on by one, brought a smile to Yuto's face as it reminds him to his past memories.  
  
Taking a glance to his left and right, Yuto then proceeded to cross the road carefully. Reaching out a hand, he touched the tree and closed his eyes.  
  
Taking a deep breath, he drop himself on top of the fallen leaves and leaned onto the tree surface. An image of his younger self walking side-by-side with another boy under the rows of Sakura trees eventually made him chuckled.  
  
***  
  
 _"I heard from Takaki."  
  
Yuto stared at the man behind the bar skeptically as if not believing this person's words.  
  
"You've spoken to the wrong person, Yuto. Takaki is the worst secret-keeper. Just you wait, sooner or later, that boyfriend of yours will know everything."  
  
The tall boy almost wanted to drowned himself right at the moment. Of course. Trust one Takaki Yuya to keep your secret, and you'll find it posted almost everyway the next day.  
  
"Well, it's not like I've decided anything. I just told Hikaru I got the offer." Commented Yuto dryly.  
  
The other man sighed as he put down the cup he had been wiping to it's original place.  
  
"Just a piece of information from me, Yuto, but that boy, he had always been thinking about you. He told me once, that the reason why he lived now, was all because of you." The man then picked up yet another cup and started to polish it. "He's just like a piece of fragile glass. If you handled it too roughly, even when you meant no harm, it will still break completely."  
  
Yuto said nothing as he watched his own reflection on the surface of the liquid on his glass.  
  
"And if you happen to actually break him, then this time, there will be no one to pick the pieces."  
  
Glancing into his watch, Yuto sighed before sipping the rest of his already cold coffee before proceeding to leave the place.  
  
"I'm leaving now. It's almost time for Ryosuke's session to be done. Thanks for the treat, Yabu-kun."_  
  
***  
  
 _The walk home that night was eerie silent. But instead of the comfortable silence they used to had, it was suffocating.  
  
"Yuto-kun ? Is it-"  
  
"Yes, it's true." Yuto interrupted even before the older managed to finish his words.  
  
"Oh."  
  
Yuto took a deep breath before continuing. "But it's not like I've made a decision."  
  
"Why are you, feeling confused ?"  
  
"I-" Yuto sighed deeply. "I can't leave you here."  
  
Realizing the other boy had stopped walking, Yuto turned around and face him.  
  
"Yama-chan ?"  
  
"Yuto-kun, you do know that I love you so much, right ?"  
  
Yuto frowned. "Yeah. But what-"  
  
"Then go."  
  
"Eh ?"  
  
Yuto saw how the boy forced a smile as he looked into his eyes.  
  
"If you decline this offer, you might not get a second chance. And if that ever happen, then everything would be my fault."  
  
"Yama-chan, what-"  
  
"I'll be fine by myself. So you don't have to be worried and just go chase your dream. Don't stop because of me."  
  
"But Yama-chan, I can't-"  
  
"You can't." Ryosuke cutted him off. "But that doesn't mean you don't want to."  
  
That one statement had left Yuto speechless. The boy wasn't wrong. He wasn't wrong at all.  
  
"You actually really want to go. But you can't. Because of me."  
  
"Yama-chan..."  
  
"I'll go home by myself. You have a safe trip home, Yuto-kun."  
  
Yuto could do nothing as Ryosuke gave him a slight hug before leaving him copletetely under the night sky on the quiet road._  
  
***  
  
 _"Are you sure about it ?"  
  
Yuto nodded as he continue packing his things from his locker.  
  
"If you said so." The man commented with a sigh. "But remember that you'll always be accepted here."  
  
The tall boy smiled and nodded his head.  
  
"Thank you, Inoo-kun."  
  
Yuto caught Inoo send him a sad smile at him from the corner of his eyes.  
  
"I hope you made the right decision, boy."_  
  
***  
  
Taking a stroll by the windy bridge when other people were still under the protection of their covers always brought a sense of peace into Yuto's system. In the middle of his hectic schedule, it was hard to find a leisure time for him to relax. It's either he went too early in the morning or returned too late that it's almost dawn again.  
  
So times like this when he could have a good night sleep and free morning are times he treasured the most. Well, he should've done some shooting for his upcoming drama, but since his co-actor had a conflicting schedule and had to choose his live show job done first, the filming was postponed until this evening.  
  
Now he has to say thanks to Chinen properly at their next meeting.  
  
Talking about Chinen, Yuto remembered how the other boy was the first to be able read through his every masks since he first started his debut as an idol three years ago. It's a funny thing though. Both he and Chinen came from different agencies, and it's not like that they're that close because they only worked together twice including now. But somehow, the squirrel boy had a very interesting personality behind his cute facade.  
  
 _"You're a fool, Nakajima-kun. Just some naive little fool who thought only for himself. You knew nothing of the pain you have caused to them who loves you."_  
  
Those were the words the boy had said to him the first time they met. It had sent Yuto into a state of shockness to the extent of him unable to reply anyone else's greetings for the next half an hour.  
  
After that, Yuto had searched the boy's background, but found no connection whatsoever with his past life back at Aomori. Finally concluding that Chinen was just some sharp-mouthed genius, Yuto had placed his distance carefully with the boy ever since.  
  
***  
  
 _Yuto sighed. It'd been a week, and Ryosuke still won't answer his calls nor replying his mails. He had tried his house, but everytime he came, he would be greeted by silence. He had even called Ryosuke's therapist, Inoo-sensei, but the man told him that Ryosuke haven't come for a session since his last visit last week. And everything just got Yuto frustated.  
  
Despite knowing that he'll probably get nothing as well today, he came anyway. Pushing the doorbell a couple of times, Yuto finally get tired of it and start fishing his phone. Punching Ryosuke's numbers impatiently, he called only to be directed to his mailbox, again.  
  
Pulling his hair in frustation, Yuto was about to leave when the person he had been looking for suddenly stood there by the gate, looking back at him with as much of surprise that he personally felt.  
  
"Yuto-kun ? What are you doing here ?"  
  
Yuto, finally brought back from his dumbfounded state, retorted almost harshly.  
  
"What am I doing here ? Looking for you, of course !" He snapped. "What are you thinking ? Not answering nor replying any of my attempts to get a hold of you, and now you suddenly appeared here, looking like you just came back from a trip without even feeling the slightest of guilt ?"  
  
Yuto saw the older boy released a breath before he walked closer and unlock his front door.  
  
"I left a message to Takaki-kun last week, telling him to tell you that I and Keito will be going to our high school classmates' reunion in Tokyo for a week. It's a week trip because since I'm in Tokyo, I decided to visit my sister's place as well." Ryosuke informed calmly. "It seems like the message was never delivered."  
  
"Why didn't you call ?"  
  
Ryosuke shrugged. "You do know that I'm not so fond in taking a cellphone. And since I wanted to use this trip as a way to clear out my mind, I left it at home." He then opened the door and invited Yuto in.  
  
"You'll be going to Tokyo soon. So I thought I'd have a little training to get used of living alone." Ryosuke said as he put down his luggage on the floor. "I thought you'd understand."  
  
Yuto sighed in relied as he slumped down onto the nearest coach.  
  
"Thank God. I was really scared you know. I thought you'd do something like the last time again." He then took a pillow and buried his face on it. "Don't ever do something like that ever again, Ryosuke."  
  
He could hear the older boy scoffed playfully as his footsteps faded away. And he could only smile in relief in knowing that the other boy is alright. What he failed to see, is the lone tear fell from his boyfriend's eyes as he walked away._  
  
***  
  
 _"I'm not going to stop you since it doesn't concern me in any way, but-"_  
  
Yuto lifted up his head and gazed into the master's face.  
  
"I think you're reckless."  
  
"Why do you think so ?"  
  
The man glanced at him before continuing his task in grinding the coffee beans.  
  
"Your boyfriend gave you permition to leave and chase your dream. So you should've known that he made that decision after considering your feelings." Yabu narrated calmly. "At least I know for a fact that it was hard to let go the one you've always hold onto so that the other party could be happy."  
  
"Your point is ?"  
  
"Well," Yabu shrugged. "Have you actually considering his feelings, for once ?"  
  
Yuto averted his eyes at the question.  
  
"I'm doing this for Ryosuke's sake as well. When I'm famous enough, I'll be coming back and take Ryosuke with me. And we will have a proper life together afterward. I've told Ryosuke this and he understood."  
  
"Of course." Yabu nodded. "But at the same time, Ryosuke-kun also knew, that when you're famous enough, there might be no place for him in your life anymore. Because that's what's being famous means. Without even you realizing it, you'll start forgetting those in your past."  
  
Yuto bowed his head low. That thought had crossed his mind once or twice, and he had always thought that he would be different. But hearing it from someone else, had hit him quite hard with realization, that he might end up just like that.  
  
"That boy never need fame or money or status. Up until now, he only has one wish."  
  
Looking up, he watched how the coffee master looking at him serenely for the very first time since he first came into town.  
  
"That is to be always be by your side."


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Imported from my LJ account. Unbeta-ed.

Caressing the hard surface of the frame, Yuto could only stare at the picture longingly. It's a picture of him and Ryosuke in front of the latter's home just before he left. He stared intently at the smiling face of his beloved that he haven't met or call for years.  
  
Taking a deep breath, Yuto lay down on his couch, with the picture held in front of his chest.  
  
"I miss you, Yama-chan." He whispered to no one in particular. "Do you miss me ?"  
  
Clutching the photoframe tighter, Yuto rolled to his side as flashes of memories rushed into his mind. All those times they spent together. The happy times, the sad times, the comforting times, the excruciating times, all those important times spent with him.  
  
A weak chuckle escaped Yuto's mouth as he remembered those smiles, and tears, and just about everything of the one he ever truly loved that he wanted to always protect. That he wanted to always held close.  
  
Closing his eyes, Yuto couldn't stopped the tears which began flowing his face. His silent sobs being the only sound filled his empty apartment.  
  
"I miss you so much, Yama-chan."  
  
***  
  
 _"Here, Yuto-kun."  
  
Yuto just stare at the small box on his hand with a questioning look on his face.  
  
"What is it ?"  
  
"It's a charm." Ryosuke answered softly. "So that you'll always be safe no matter what you do, wherever you are."  
  
Opening the small box, Yuto found a plain silver bracelet with one small star pendant dangling on one side. It's almost identical with the star necklace he's wearing. The one he received from the same boy not so long ago.  
  
"Thank you, for being my support when I was about to fall. I will never ever forget you, Yuto-kun."  
  
Pulling the boy to his chest, Yuto could feel hot tears accumulating in the corner of his eyes.  
  
"I love you, Yamada Ryosuke."_  
  
***  
  
Taking a deep breath, Yuto smiled as the familiar air filled his lungs. Mouthing a small 'Yosh' to himself, Yuto dared himself to move forward. He hummed a rather catchy melody as he walked down the nostalgic path he remembered by heart. His bubble of anticipation filled his heart that he almost felt like it would burst anytime.  
  
Finally reaching his destination, Yuto's smile turned into a frown at the sight of the usually well-treated and beautiful small house looked so deserted, and abandoned. Trying to push away any negative thoughts, he still proceeded to push the doorbell.  
  
At the sound of a dull and cracked voice coming from inside the seemingly hollow place, it only assured the tall man that the house hasn't been used for quite sometimes.  
  
Sighing, he retreated from the place and decided to ask around. Deciding to visit his old workplace, Yuto wasn't that surprised to see that his old mates were still around. He grinned as he walked closer and almost yell to greet the people. His old friends, had answered his greetings enthusiastically, but Yuto still could not shrugged the feeling that something was off.  
  
"Oy, Takaki. Do you happen to know what had happened with Yama-chan's house ? It seemed like it wasn't occupied for quite sometimes. Do you know where he is now ?"  
  
He watched how the expression of the man in front of him turned sour. Takaki fidgeted and stuttered something incoherent, and it kinda frustated Yuto out. Just as he was about to demand for a real answer, something -or someone to be precise- interrupted him.  
  
"Nakajima-kun ?"  
  
The called man turned and found Ryosuke's therapist coming closer.  
  
"It'd been long." The man greeted politely.  
  
"Inoo-kun." Yuto bowed to show his respect.  
  
"How about we talk a bit in my office ? You must have a lot to share. I'm almost done here anyway." The man offered.  
  
Glancing at the still fidgeting Takaki, Yuto sighed before nodding his head in approval. "It's a pleasure."  
  
***  
  
"I know what you wanted to know, but I have to say sorry that we all here could not provide you the answer."  
  
Yuto frown at the weird tone Inoo used.  
  
"Excuse me ?"  
  
"It was Yamada-kun's personal request, that if you ever try to find him again someday, then we shall not tell you a word."  
  
"Why ?" Yuto asked in a mix of confusion and a sense of betrayal.  
  
The middle-aged man sighed as he leaned into his chair.  
  
"Though I perfectly understand his reasonings, it's still not my place to speak it to you." Inoo commented softly. "All I can tell you is that, Yamada-kun once said, that if you two were really connected by your hearts, then you will always able to find him, even without anyone there to help you."  
  
***  
  
 _"Yuto-kun ?"_  
  
"Hmm ?"  
  
"Do you really think that we're fated together ?"  
  
A small chuckled came from Yuto.  
  
"Why are you laughing ?" Yuto could almost hear the pout from the boy behind him.  
  
"No, it's just-" Yuto chuckled once again. "I came here a year ago in hope to find a new life. And here, I found you. Though we were somewhat a stranger to each other, but by the strange of nature, I could still be the one who caught you when you fell, and you could still be my source of happiness in my dull and boring life. Don't you think that those were proof enough ?"  
  
"Hn."  
  
Yuto smiled as he turned around to find his blushing boyfriend.  
  
"We're connected by our hearts, Yama-chan. No matter how far we were separated, we will always be able to find each other."  
  
***  
  
"Finally decided that you're tired being under the spotlight, idol boy ?"  
  
Yuto growled as he slumped down into one of the chair in front of the bar.  
  
"Lend me a room for a night, please."  
  
The coffee master laughed crisply as he shook his head.  
  
"Yeah, yeah. I kept your old room just as it was. No changes whatsoever."  
  
"Thanks."  
  
Yuto then proceeded to stand and is about to get upstairs to his old room before Yabu stopped him.  
  
"Ah, forgot to tell you that you have a neighbour. Namely Yaotome Hikaru. Be nice with each other, okay ? I heard that this Hikaru boy is a band boy. So I think you two have things in common."  
  
Mumbling an incoherent answer, Yuto continue his way upstairs.  
  
***  
  
Yuto smiled contendedly. As expected, having a morning jog in a rural area was refreshing. Placing his earphone, Yuto played his favourite playlist on his music player before he started his morning routine. Glancing right and left as he ran, Yuto felt freshened by the familiar scenery he'd longed to see.  
  
If only there was someone else running beside him...  
  
Sighing, Yuto make a small turn and decided to have a little rest at the park nearby. Seating himself down on the wooden bench, Yuto took his water bottle and gulped down the mineral drink. Leaning back, Yuto then closed his eyes and let the nature lull his tired body.  
  
Only to be snatched rather harshly a moment later.  
  
Unplugging the earphone from his ears, Yuto turned around and was ready to face his offender. But he was stopped at the sight of a familiar figure stood close.  
  
"Okamoto-kun ?" Yuto called out in disbelief. He frowned at the unusual aura erupting from the usually calm and composed boy. Today, for some unknown reasons, the boy just looked, furious.  
  
"What the hell are you doing here ?" The other man hissed angrily with venom filled his voice.  
  
"I, came for a visit. Why ? What happened ?" Yuto asked curiously.  
  
Keito pushed Yuto away, make the clueless man fell to the ground. "You've caused too many misery Nakajima. You're no longer accepted here." He then turned around and walked away. "And if you expected that you'll come across Ryosuke somehow if you were to stay longer, then keep on dreaming. If I were you, I will pack my things and return to the city running."  
  
"Wait ! Wha-"  
  
But before Yuto could pry for more, the man had fled away.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Imported from my LJ account. Unbeta-ed.

"Spill everything I don't know, Yabu."  
  
The man from behind the counter turned and raised an eyebrow before resuming his act to rearrange the cups on the drawer.  
  
"I believe you've heard, that it was Ryosuke-kun himself who asked us not tell you a thing."  
  
"Something must have happened. It was just too strange for Okamoto to suddenly acted that way." Yuto whispered impatiently.  
  
"Of course something had happened. Do you really thought that nothing would change over the years ?" Yabu scoffed. "This is reality. Everything changes every single second."  
  
"Then wha-"  
  
"All I can tell you is, Yuto, that you will never find Ryosuke-kun anywhere anymore."  
  
Yuto slinted his eyes at the sudden change of tone. For once, he thought that Yabu sounded, sad.  
  
"You could try your luck and ask people around here in this city. But don't put your hopes high."  
  
Yuto sighed. "I give up. I'll ask someone else." He then stood from his seat and grab his jacket, ready to leave.  
  
"I've told you once before, right ? That Ryosuke-kun only wish, was to be always by your side. It took him a lot of courage to let you go. And there was a reason for it. A very good one at it."  
  
***  
  
 _"Yuto-kun, this is my best-friend, Arioka Daiki."  
  
Yuto smiled at the other boy and bowed down.  
  
"Nakajima Yuto desu."  
  
"Arioka Daiki desu." The other boy responded to his greetings.  
  
"Dai-chan, Keito and me were bestfriends since grade school. Though Dai-chan is a year ahead of us, we're still bestfriends."  
  
Yuto nodded his head in understanding as the newcomer scratch the back of his head.  
  
"I moved to Tokyo since I got accepted at Todai*. Every vacations, I always came visit though." Daiki stated shyly.  
  
"Dai-chan's family had always been nice to me. They even said that they thought of me as their own son." Ryosuke exclaimed happily. "Ah, I'll go buy us some drinks." The boy smiled then fled to the nearest vending machine.  
  
"Nakajima-kun ?"  
  
"Yes ?"  
  
Daiki turned toward him and smile warmly. "Thank you for watching over Ryosuke, especially at his toughest time. He's like my own brother, so I felt kinda guilty when I wasn't there when his parents passed away. But I was having an important exam back then so it kinda hard for me to leave. If you're not there, I don't know what might be happening to him. And I'm sure I'll be forever live in guilt because of that."  
  
Yuto smiled back at him. The corner of his eyes caught Ryosuke who is currently running back to where they are with three cans in his hands.  
  
"I should be thankful to you instead. Because you weren't there that time, I was able to meet my fated one."_  
  
***  
  
Closing his eyes, Yuto could heard the swirling sound of the wind rustling against the trees. And faintly, it was followed with the sound of footsteps echoing slightly, seemingly coming closer to where he stood. As the footsteps sound stopped, Yuto opened his eyes.  
  
"You should stop this, Nakajima-kun."  
  
Without even looking at the newcomer stood behind him, Yuto spoke, "What do you mean ?"  
  
"Ryosuke is not here anymore."  
  
"I know." Yuto nodded, eyes still fixed to the deserted house he used to treasured. "That's why I'm not stopping until I find him."  
  
"No." A sad sigh could be heard escaped from the figure behind him. "You won't find him anywhere. I told you, Ryosuke is not here anymore."  
  
Turning around, he finally placed a good look on the other man. "Then tell me, tell me things I need to know."  
  
He watched how the man lowered his head, as if contemplating his respond. After a long five minutes, he then lifted his head up back.  
  
"I'll take you to him."  
  
"Really ?" Sparks of hope reappearing on Yuto's eyes at the statement.  
  
"Don't misunderstand me. I have yet to forgive you for the sufferings you had caused for Ryosuke. Even after he trusted you so much." The voice which came out from the man's mouth had began to shake by this moment, as if the man was trying not to cry. "It's just that being unknown is a bless, and I don't want to grant you that."  
  
Yuto was surprised beyond words as the figure's back kept moving away.  
  
"Think of it as my revenge, Nakajima-kun. For ever hurting my brother."  
  
***  
  
Throwing every single things his hands could reach, Yuto was on the verge of sanity already. All he sees is black. The same dull black he used to see before he came to this town. Before he met the one he ever truly loved. Taking some random thing from inside his duffel bag, Yuto was about to hit it to the nearest wall but was stopped by a hand holding his own.  
  
"Stop it, Yuto."  
  
Turning to look his offender, Yuto was taken aback by the sad look coming from his caretaker. Feeling suddenly drained from all his power, Yuto dropped to his knees, with a hand hanging awkwardly in the air. He dropped the thing he held before, and cried when his old picture with Ryosuke looking back at him, as if mocking his very presence.  
  
"Why ? After everything, I have finally found him. But why ?" After holding his feelings for quite a while, Yuto couldn't take it anymore and just let it flow. "Tell me, Yabu-kun. Please tell me. What happened ?"  
  
Yabu released a deep sigh as he shook his head. "I-"  
  
"Kota had promised your lover to never spill the truth to you. Just like everyone else in this town did."  
  
Both men looked up to see someone stood by the doorframe, looking almost bored.  
  
"Hikaru !"  
  
The man then walked to their direction. He pulled something which looked like some random papers and handed it toward Yuto's direction.  
  
"But I wasn't a part of this town then, so I could tell you everything." Hikaru said coldly. "But it would just waste my time so I'll have you read this letter instead."  
  
Kota threw a warning glare toward Hikaru's direction, but the determination shone from Hikaru's eyes doesn't seem to waver. If possible, it was strenghtened instead.  
  
"Let the boy know, Kota. Despite everything he had done, he still had the right to know."  
  
Sighing in defeat, Kota stood and proceeded to leave.  
  
"I won't stop you then."  
  
Yuto looked up to see Hikaru staring at him intently, and it somehow sent chills running through his spine which freaked him out a bit.  
  
"Read it, boy. Read it and break down as you wish after. Though I believe that Ryosuke had wanted you to move on instead."  
  
And with that last words, the man closed the door and left Yuto all alone inside his chaotic room.  
  
Sighing, Yuto flipped the papers open only to gasp at the all too familiar handwriting belonged to the one he had left behind.  
  
 _'Dearest Yuto-kun,_  
  
If by any chance you ever received this letter, then it would mean that I'm no longer there for you to find. It was saddening, but I guess it can't be helped.  
  
Yuto-kun, I wanted to tell you something I never told you before. You see, when I was born, I was diagnosed with a heart failure, but it wasn't that bad, so the Doctor gave me some therapies and medications for it. Because of that, I grew up being spoiled by my family. They always treated me carefully as if I'm a piece of glass which could be broken easily. But thanks to that, and the fact that we lived in a rural area which was far from city's pollution, had made me grew without much of a hassle. Sometimes, after a very hard day, I would received small attacks, but other way, I could lived my life normally. I could make friends and played with them, be a normal student, and even took part in many school festivals. All in all, I was a happy and normal kid.  
  
But then, when my parents suddenly died a couple of years ago, things had turned for the worse ever since. That illness I never thought will be coming ever again, suddenly reappeared and even worsened considerably. All the pain, and sadness, and stress had finally took their toll on me until I finally collapsed. That was when you found me. You, who knew nothing about this stranger, could just went and left me to die that day. But you didn't. You took me by your arms instead, and rushed me to the hospital. You didn't only saved my life that day. But you also saved my heart from dying. That time, truth to be told, I didn't care anymore. I even wished for death to come so that I could rejoin with my parents. But then I heard a voice. An unfamiliar voice which soothed and encouraged me gently, telling me to hang in there and live on. Not knowing what to do, I decided to trust that voice and fight. And that was when I saw you for the first time. You, the one who saved me when I was about to give in. And before I could stopped it, I found myself falling for you already.  
  
You might be hearing things from the townspeople, about my parents' death, that's why you felt pity towards me and felt the responsibility over me. But I was glad. Because it was your presence, which never failed to encouraged and cheered me up that time, which helped me to passed through it all. But knowing that you might be pitying me more, I decided to hide my sickness from you. That was, because I wanted you to stay because you want to, not because you need to. I don't want you to pity me and caused you unable to leave anymore. But as I gradually getting better, instead of leaving, you chose to stayed by my side instead. I was feeling really grateful that time. And that's when you told me how you felt about me. I was so happy beyond words. I thought that I was the luckiest man in the earth, despite everything which had happened. I couldn't asked for more. Even if I knew that my time is running out...  
  
You see, all those therapy sessions I had with Inoo-sensei were all lies. The truth is that I had been doing a therapy for my sickness. I've said this before, but since my parents' death, my sickness had been worsening and my health had been deteriorating constantly. That day, when I told you to go and chase for your dream, not too long before, I was being told by my Doctor that I only have not that much of time left, maybe a couple of months if I'm lucky. When I told you that I went to Tokyo before, it was also a lie. I was actually stayed at the hospital that time, since I've been so bad back than that it hurt even just to move. But I didn't want you to know, so I hid all those from you. I tried my best to always showed you a smile, to showed you that I'm happy to be with you. As expected, until the end, I wanted to be loved by you. It was selfish of me, I know, but I couldn't helped it.  
  
Yuto-kun, I'm really sorry, for everything. I've lied to you, hid things from you, being selfish and all. You might have forgotten about me already since you left to Tokyo. Or you might even have found someone else. But I want you to know, that up until now, you're the only one who ever had my heart. You're my first, and last. And I won't ever forget every single days spent with you. I won't regret my desision too, to let you go, because I knew, that it was your dream to be big. For the very least, I don't want to stop you from making your dreams come true. It might be hard ever since you left -I even cried for days because I missed you too much- but as times passed, and because I also knew that you're trying hard in Tokyo as well, I knew I didn't regret it at all.  
  
I know this might be hard for you to accept, but when the news had finally reached you, I wanted you to keep on moving on. You would be feeling sober for a day or two, but don't ever let it eat you up. You can't let this stop you, Yuto-kun. You have to keep on living on, and make yourself big. It's a promise. I won't ever forgive you if you gave up everything because of this.  
  
Until we meet again, Yuto-kun.  
Yamada Ryosuke.'  
  
***  
  
Yuto walked down the cafe downstairs, looking more miserable than before. He looked up and saw both Yabu and that Yaotome Hikaru sit down face to face. And as he descended down, the two of them turned their heads to his direction.  
  
"Yuto..." Yabu called out.  
  
Yuto smiled weakly as he walked toward their direction. He watched how Hikaru scoffed under his breath and looked away.  
  
"Soon after you left, Ryosuke broke. Knowing that he had not that much of a time left, he left a message to the whole town to never tell you about his conditions, telling them that he knew you'll still find him in any way. Not too long after, his body gave up." Hikaru turned his back to face Yuto. "That brat. Even until his very last breath, he still believed in such a jerk like you."  
  
Flinching, Yuto halted in his steps.  
  
"Why- Why are you telling me this ? Who are you to know this much ?"  
  
He watched as Hikaru's head turned to his direction slowly, and with eyes filled with hatred, he said, "I told you, you have the right to know the truth, despite everything that you had done to Ryosuke. And to answer your second question, I'm Ryosuke's mother younger brother. Ryosuke's uncle."  
  
***  
  
"Going back already ?"  
  
Yuto turned and smile at the man standing not too far away.  
  
"Inoo-kun." He greeted. "Yes. I still have responsibility I need to fulfill."  
  
"Is that so ?" The kind man responded softly. "So, you've known ?"  
  
Yuto nodded solemnly. "Yeah."  
  
"Is that so ?" Replied the other man as he walked closer. "Then ? How are you feeling now ?"  
  
The tall man shook his head. "I don't know. It's too much of a mess that I don't know anymore."  
  
For a moment, both men said nothing and just let the silence engulf them.  
  
"I-" Yuto started after a while. "I didn't even bid him goodbye properly." He said sadly. "I didn't even thanked him, for everything that he had done to me. I never managed to tell him how grateful I am to ever met him. I never told him how much I love his smiles, the smiles that could always made my darkest moment bright. I-" Yuto paused and closed his eyes to prevent the stubborn tears from falling. "I never properly showed him how much he meant to me."  
  
"It'd always been like that, right ?" Inoo formed a serene smile as he faced the other man. "That you'll only realized, how much a person meant to you, after that person had been gone."  
  
Looking away, Yuto nodded slowly. "Yeah, I know." He looked up and into the vast sky. "But even so, I'll keep on walking ahead. Because I know that was what Ryosuke had wanted me to do."


End file.
